better living through modern chemistry

well, i don't really know if it will be, but...

yeah...so...feeling as if i have failed to be able to control (*snort*) my own life, i have finally given in after months and months of not sleeping, depression and high anxiety (not the mel brooks kind) and gone to the doctor. i've been trying to fix things on my own and things are getting better, but i'm not who i am supposed to be and it hurts so much, anymore. after long contemplation and the added knowledge that this is round 4 of depression and round 3 of therapy AND my grandmother was clinically (although undiagnosed) depressed her entire life, i am now taking a pill for it all...and still having my wednesday evening rendezvous with judy the therapist.

well, actually it's 2 pills, right now.

one pill makes you smaller...ok not really. one pill to help me sleep as a temporary measure, the other to correct the imbalance of chemicals in my brain that causes me to look at the glass as not only half-empty, but as dirty, chipped, filled with crap-ass, cheap wine and completely undrinkable and unworthy of even tasting and completely petrified it will tip over, fall off the table and shatter into a million tiny pieces before i can catch it.

yeah, well...

the doctor said bunny will most likely notice differences in me before i will, if this pill is the right one for me. the sleeping one last night didn't help much. the doc gave me 3 different samples to try of that...but not all at once. *snort* on to sample #2 tonight and, hopefully, some decent, uninterrupted, deep sleep.

now, if only my eye would stop twitching and my nose would get better...

astrobarry does it again...

PISCES (February 19-March 20): I simply cannot let you off the hook from last week's encouragement to leap. This week, we've tossed Mars in the mix, with trines to both Jupiter and Uranus, adding the physical verve necessary to get off your buttocks and take the damn chance. Those of you who are hesitating to rile up your whole life enough to radically refreshen things, you're probably rightfully concerned with those annoying practicalities like money and job and the other chores you're charged with. Well, you're in luck because Venus and Saturn have each other's backs in houses of material security, and they will not let you go hungry—if, that is, you make some sort of massive decision or pledge this week, to go for what feels right over what you think you 'should' do. Even if you take another several months to brainstorm ways to rearrange responsibilities to make room for a completely different lifestyle (and to save up a safety cushion), as long as you do something this week, you'll get the planets' blessings. Otherwise, the trines will merely intensify whatever unattended-to yearnings for liberation linger languidly in your consciousness.

05.01.06

Pisces Daily extended (by Astrology.com)

There's a crazy blob of emotions churning around deep inside your heart, but it's getting easier and easier to get a handle on them. Finally, you're able to get a clear idea of how you feel and where you want to go from here. Make a date with the object of your affection and share your feelings -- find something physical that symbolizes your feelings (a flower, a card, a poem) and use it to help you explain yourself. The urge to share will outweigh any fear of rejection.


~'nuff said~